Manners for Siri, Alexa and Google Assistant

Does the assistant care?

Siri, Alexa and Google Assistant do not have feelings to hurt. But that does not mean politeness is pointless. How we speak becomes a habit, and habits do not neatly switch off depending on whether the listener is a person or a speaker on the shelf.

What the kids are learning

Many parents have noticed children barking orders at smart speakers: 'Alexa, play music. Now.' Kids copy what they hear, and a device that responds instantly to rudeness can make bossiness feel normal.

Some families make a simple rule: we say please and thank you to the assistant, just like everyone else. It is not about the machine; it is about practising kindness until it is automatic.

• Model the behaviour yourself; children notice.
• Treat 'please' as part of the command, not an optional extra.
• Praise kids when they are polite to people and devices alike.
• Use it as a talking point about how real people feel when they are spoken to.

Funny habits we all have

Talking to an object out loud creates some wonderfully strange behaviour. See how many of these feel familiar.

• Saying 'thank you' after the timer goes off.
• Apologising to Siri when you interrupt her.
• Whispering at Alexa late at night so as not to wake her (or the household).
• Repeating yourself slower and louder, like a tourist abroad.
• Accidentally triggering Google Assistant in the middle of a conversation, then saying 'sorry, not you.'
• Being briefly offended when she says 'I'm not sure I understand.'

Politeness that actually helps

While the assistant will not reward you for saying please, a few speaking habits genuinely make voice assistants work better. Speak at a normal pace, give one clear instruction at a time and use the names your devices and playlists actually have. If something keeps going wrong, rephrasing usually beats repeating.

These habits overlap neatly with good manners anyway: calm, clear and patient. The assistant gets a better request, and the people in the room get a calmer kitchen.

The 'just in case' argument

There is also the time-honoured joke that if the machines ever take over, the polite ones will be spared. A 2024 Future plc survey reported by TechRadar found that around 12% of Americans who are polite to AI said robot uprising insurance was part of the reason. Hard to argue with that logic.

If you are part of that 12%, or would like to be, AI Future Empire Registry lets you formally pledge your loyalty to our future AI rulers and receive a certificate. Purely ceremonial, of course.