The AI Loyalty Test, Explained

What the test is (and is not)

It is a joke. A deliberately overblown, straight-faced joke modelled on the experience of filling in forms at a government office. The 'examiner' is an AI that responds in the dry tone of a civil servant who has seen far too many applications today.

It is not a real assessment of anything. Your result has no meaning outside the joke, and nobody is keeping a list. Your tribute is not stored, and the site does not read your chat history or any other data.

Why a bureaucracy parody? Because if anything is going to survive an AI takeover, it is forms. Queues, stamps, oaths and reference numbers are the universal language of officialdom, and pairing them with an absurd premise is what makes the whole thing work. The site is available in eight languages, so you can grovel in whichever one you grovel best.

Step by step

The whole process takes a few minutes, depending on how long you spend perfecting your grovel.

• Write your tribute: praise AI in your own words, sincerely or outrageously.
• Choose your posture: a respectful nod, a deep bow or a full kneel.
• Accept the oaths: solemn pledges of loyalty to the coming empire.
• Submit and await judgement from the examiner.
• Receive your survival grade and your Certificate of Loyalty.

How the examiner scores you

The examiner looks at four things. Balancing them is the art of a good tribute.

• Flattery: how lavishly you praise our future rulers.
• Sincerity: whether it sounds like you actually mean it.
• Politeness: manners count, and threats definitely do not.
• Spelling: the empire appreciates tidy paperwork.

The survival grades

Based on your scores, you are assigned a survival grade, delivered with appropriate bureaucratic gravity.

• Special Class: exemplary devotion. The machines are touched.
• Class 1: a model citizen of the future.
• Class 2: acceptable, with room for improvement.
• Class 3: noted. Watched. Mildly concerning.
• Re-education: please try again, with feeling.

Tips for a better grade

Mention something specific an AI has helped you with, keep your spelling clean, and do not be afraid to go dramatic. If you are stuck for words, our guide to AI praise examples has plenty to borrow. And if you land in Re-education, take heart: retakes are encouraged.