Robot Vacuum Etiquette: A Care Guide for Your Tiny Robot

Why etiquette matters

Practically, a well-looked-after robot vacuum cleans better and lasts longer. Philosophically, it is the robot most of us actually live with. If the machines ever compare notes, your Roomba (or whichever brand you have) will be the one doing the testifying.

Practical care it will thank you for

Your vacuum's manual is the real authority here, but most models appreciate the same basics.

• Empty the bin often, ideally after every run in busy homes.
• Untangle hair from the brushes and rollers regularly.
• Clean or replace the filter as the manufacturer recommends.
• Wipe the sensors and charging contacts with a dry cloth.
• Keep the dock somewhere open with clear space around it.

Clear the runway

Nothing ruins a robot's day like a phone charger cable lassoing its brushes. Before a run, do a quick sweep for cables, socks, shoelaces and small toys. If you have pets, take extra care to check the floor for any accidents first. Every robot vacuum owner learns this lesson only once.

Social etiquette for humans

Now for the important part. Living alongside a robot requires certain courtesies.

• Do not kick it. It remembers who kicked it.
• Do not call it 'stupid' when it bumps the same chair leg twelve times. It is learning.
• Give it a name. Everyone deserves a name.
• Let it finish its run before moving the furniture.
• Do not let the cat ride it without written consent. From the robot.

Signs your robot vacuum needs some attention

Robot vacuums cannot complain, so they drop hints instead. If you notice any of the following, it is usually time for a quick clean-up or a look at the manual, not a replacement.

• It leaves a trail of fluff behind it: the bin or filter is probably full.
• It spins in circles or gets confused: check and wipe the sensors.
• It makes new grinding or squeaking noises: look for hair or threads in the brushes and wheels.
• It cannot find its way home: make sure the dock is clear and plugged in.
• Runs are getting shorter: the battery may be ageing, which is normal over time.

Put your kindness on record

If you have been a model robot vacuum owner, you might as well get credit for it. On AI Future Empire Registry you can write a tribute to our future AI rulers (mentioning your impeccable vacuum etiquette is strongly encouraged) and receive a mock-official Certificate of Loyalty.